I just can't even.
Tuesday, November 29, 2016
Wednesday, November 16, 2016
"If you must make a choice between heresy and schism, always choose heresy. As a schismatic, you have torn and divided [the Sangha]. Choose heresy every time."
- Apologies to Bishop Peter Lee
Buddhism is not well prepared to deal with apostasy. With a central tenant of "Not one, not two" Zen in particular rejects the cartesian dualism which seems to be required to have some one to turn away and some thing to turn away from. If the Buddha-Dharma is endless and all pervading in the ten directions; how can you turn away from literally everything!?
While Buddhism has enjoyed the backing of the state at various times throughout history, the influence of the Dharma over government is generally seen as positive. Buddhist court record and law is not without instances of excommunication, and there was even an inquisition against Christians in Edo era Japan, apostasy is generally treated with a bit of dismissive contempt, following the Old Man's lead:
The Buddha's attitude to apostasy is epitomized by his encounter with a man named Sunakkhatta. He was a disciple of the Buddha, but after a while became dissatisfied with the Dhamma and decided to renounce the Teacher and the teaching. Sunakkhatta came to the Buddha and said: "Lord, I am leaving you. I am no longer living by your teachings." The Buddha responded to this declaration by asking Sunakkhatta some questions: "Did I ever say to you: 'Come, live by my teachings'?" "No Lord." "Then did you ever say to me that you wished to live by my teachings?" "No Lord." "That being the case, who are you and what are you giving up, you foolish man?" (D.III,2-3).
Righteous apostasy followed by schism is more of less the overall plot of religious history, creating the ramified tree of traditions practiced across the globe. Name a famous religious figure and you're likely to name an apostate, who successfully created a schism in the tradition they belonged to: Siddhartha, Jesus, Muhammed, Martin Luther (who's apostasy was so inspiring there are literally hundreds of splinter factions of the protestant church).
In the Christian tradition, formal accusations of heresy are considered "reformative" in that the charges allow the accused to come back into the fold by resolving them by confession at an inquisition. Of course, many inquisitors determined that there was no hope for the accused and the results can hardly be called surprising. Most apostates and schismatics turn away from their traditions with similarly reformative intent: their church has become corrupt, and they must turn away from it to demonstrate the seriousness of their cause and provide them with a platform to outline their complaints.
Here, then, are some of my reasons for turning away from Zen Center, as a practitioner, volunteer, parent and member:
Uphold all Forms and Ceremonies
The perfect precepts of “Do All Good” has a corollary rule of “Uphold all Forms and Ceremonies”. The character for “ceremony” contains the radicals for “correct” and “action” suggesting the ceremonial behavior is by definition good and should be maintained by those who follow the way.
This is the basis of the ceremonial practice of Zen, one of the most unfamiliar and challenging aspects for new participants, but one of the great strengths of the tradition: the ceremonial forms create a firm foundation and supporting framework for practice. They are the Dharma Gates we pass through most often, and they deserve the greatest care and maintenance as they have been carefully handed down to us from the deepest parts of human history.
I believe that Buddhas birthday is an important holiday and part of the traditional relationship of the temple to the community which supports it. The residents of green gulch have abandoned that relationship and the practice forms and ceremonies that support it. In the past three years that the Children’s program volunteer staff has maintained this important tradition I cannot recall a single resident of Greed Gulch, or any of their children, to have attended.
I believe that with four priests who currently have young children living at Green Gulch, and one other who previously volunteered for children’s program there is sufficient resident staff to provide a family ministry. However none of them has come forward to help us and the one who was requested to lead a retreat last year did so and then “bowed out”, leaving us with no priests to help lead the program or engage with families.
No Selling the Dharma
The third precept is usually interpreted as prohibiting the selling of intoxicants (teetotalers will extend it to consumption). There is another interpretation relating to the way that the Dharma is dispensed: It is forbidden to sell the teaching of the Buddha as they are considered to have an intoxicating effect on the mind.
Sadly, selling the Dharma for profit has become the order of the day for the administration and priests of Zen Center. From a string of questionable fundraising events to a very intimate relationship with Google, there’s never been a better time to hire a priest to show you how to harness the mindfulness revolution, which has been carefully stripped of religious iconography and language to keep you in your corporate or secular comfort zone.
I think the concept of a "zen-a-thon" is probably a literal heresy and I'm ashamed to have participated in the event this past year, and find the very concept of “sponsored practice” to be frankly disgusting and crass. Asking friends to help support your religious practice and institution is strange and awkward, and the extension from sitting to other activities doesn’t really help.
While no priests can be found to support family practice, many priests at Zen Center are fully engaged with the Search Inside Yourself Leadership Institute. They are lining up to sell the intimate secrets of practice and perhaps dispense an indulgence or two to a company who’s track record touches the creepy line over and over again.
All of this would be just disappointing if we had not received a request to “quiet down” the children’s program on buddha’s birthday so that the paying customers from Google would not be disturbed in their inner search. Similarly, I head that there was a conflict between Buddha’s Birthday and zen-a-thon at City Center this past year, and the schedule for next year’s Children’s program (as of November 17, 2016) has the date for zen-a-thon set but not for Buddha’s Birthday.
Not Taking Upon Ourselves the Burden of Riches
Part of the daily liturgy in the temple is the dedication of merit, this is intended to wipe out the merit accumulated by the assembly in it’s practice so that it does not become a burden. I like to say that “Karma’s not a Checkbook” but Merit sort of is; it’s the abstract representation of ones spiritual capital, and the dedication in the liturgy is a reminder that we should perform good deeds for their effects, not for our own gain. Despite, or perhaps because of, this daily emptying of the purse, there is a bit of a merit rush going on, both at the administrative level and the individual priests.
When I last approached the Abbess to ask for help from the community, she said that she really wanted to reach out to the families of Marin City. Marin City is a small enclave of majority African American families, descended from the workers who build the Liberty Ships during Wold War II. Apparently the children who do come aren’t worth the time, but if we could find a way to recruit some of these less fortunate families, the merit payout would be more worthwhile.
The priest who bowed out of the Children’s program after helping with our retreat last year has been very involved with the the San Quentin Sangha project. You have to imagine that bringing the Dharma to these condemned is certainly earning the most merit possible, these are murderers, they can truly confess and repent in ways that the dozens of children and their parents who come very month just could not provide.
Not Lying and Not Despising any Being in any State
Zen Center has a long and complicated relationship with relationships in the Sangha. One clear policy which the sitting abbess of Green Gulch explained to me is “single parents of young children are not suitable candidates for priest training” due to the responsibilities of their karma. Which effectively prohibits single parents and couples with young children from entering residence at any of the Zen Center campuses.
I believe Zen Center’s policy of excluding single parents from priest training and therefore residency is discriminatory and has no basis in or relation to traditional buddhist practice. It also presents a difficult dilemma to any parents currently residing together: separate and be expelled from the community.
Birth and Death are Serious Business, Arise, Wake!
Finally, we come to the straw which has broken my relationship with the Zen Center completely. In an effort to help introduce the parents to some of the ceremonial aspects of Zen practice, and the traditional relationship of families to priests I asked for a demonstration of the Baby Blessing ceremony during our summer retreat last year. I have been practicing with this community for five years and haven’t seen a baby blessing, or wedding or any other positive affirmation of life. Just funerals.
Funerals for abbots, funerals for past abbots, funerals for long term practitioners, funerals for babies and the unborn (offered to all comers, no questions asked, on the public schedule. Death and Dying workshops, Caring for the Dying workshops, Managing with Stress and Anxiety About Dying workshops, a Hospice program, a Retirement Community, and so on into the dark night. Basically the community has one foot in the grave, and the population pyramid shows it: look around the room on a Sunday morning with no Children’s program at Green Gulch and you’ll see for yourself.
I asked for the community to acknowledge a child who was born to two long-term Children’s Program attendees, who actually met at Green Gulch. The priest I asked to help with the ceremony said, “I’m not sure who those people are” and another accused me of proselytizing, and said that the priests weren’t for sale (maybe they should tell Google that, there seems to be some confusion). In the end we didn’t have the ceremony, and it’s clear to me that whatever the residents of Green Gulch and City Center say about how much they want family practice, when it comes to actually engaging, they are nowhere to be found.
Monday, April 29, 2013
While staying at a Tendai temple in Lake County for a few days, I spent an evening visiting the Mt. Cobb Sai Sho Zen-Ji temple, just north of Cobb, CA, for their weekly public program. It was my first exposure to Rinzai Zen practice and an interesting introduction to the Rinzai sanga in California.
Sai Sho Zen-Ji is perhaps more of a retreat center than a temple. The resident community is very small, only four at the time of my visit, and two of them were out of town. I came with another Soto practitioner and we were the only visitors. The Zendo has seating for at least 32, and they hold sesshins here in the Rinzai tradition, when a teacher is available. The four of us had room to spare for the evenings program.
Rinzai Zen practice revolves around koans, the Zendo forms and meditation practice aren't wildly different than Soto as practiced at SFZC but the relationship with the teacher is almost completely focused on the student working on a koan and the master confirming their understanding in Sanzen, which is related to Dokusan. Soto emphasizes shinkantaza, or 'just sitting' while Rinzai practitioners spend much of their time in the Zendo working on a puzzle given to them in an effort to advance their progress towards enlightenment.
Both Soto and Rinzai place emphasis on samu, mindful work, or samu but the key difference is in the level of strictness and the marital aspect of Rinzai practice. The Japanese have a saying, "Rinzai for the Shogun, Soto for the peasants" which reflects the relationship between the two schools. The Samurai were chiefly patrons of Rinzai while the farmers supported Soto temples, and the two schools reflect this difference in their practice. Walking meditation is a slow and deliberate process in Soto, in the Rinzai Zendo we were in a tight formation, moving quickly and precisely, concentration focused on not running into the person in front of you or stalling the person behind.
A Dinner Koan
We arrived early and were invited to join the residents for dinner, a low carb meal featuring hamburger patties with no buns, and a smoked turkey soup. I was happy to have dinner (the Tendai temple observes the precept of not eating an evening meal, substituting a snack) but was surprised that it wasn't vegetarian as is typically the case in most Buddhist practice centers. Standing around the grill I made an observation about the first grave precept (not killing) being somewhat open to interpretation. Given the notorious violence of the samurai, who were required to wear two swords at all times which was necessary because any affront to their dignity was immediately punishable by death, a burger seems like a small thing.
Into the Zendo
On the drive over my companion gave me a brief introduction to the differences in form that I should be aware of: the mudras for gassho and shasho are diffrenent, one holds gassho while going to their seat, the forms for kinhin are much closer to the fast kinhin practice of Soto, and if you move there is an officer in the Zendo who's job it is to correct you and administer the encouragement stick if necessary.
I can imagine a full Sesshin feeling much more like boot camp than a Soto retreat of similar length. This is Zen for warriors, focused on delivering the sudden enlightenment of Kensho and tailored to an audience for whom stricture and obedience where critical to surviving day to day life. Sitting perfectly still for 25 minutes (vs. 40 in most Soto temples) is good practice for having to be perfectly composed in front of your lord, who could order you to commit ritual suicide at the slightest provocation.
A Singular Koan
In the months since my visit a scandalous story broke and has gotten the usual response in the small echo chamber of Zen in America: a flurry of blog posts and news articles and finally a set of statements issued by the larger organizations, including the Zen Center. I don't have anything to add to that debate but I do think that there's a more interesting story about the Rinzai School in America: there is no lineage.
Lineage is the blood line of the Buddhist tradition, we chant the succession of ancestors going back to Sidharta and the Buddhas before our great original teacher (they are given credit for achieving enlightenment but not for teaching, which is critical to the development of capital-b Buddhisim), during ordination we receive a document listing the lineage that carried the precepts to us. Within the relatively short history of the Zen Center the lineage has become complicated by the relationship between Baker Roshi and the Sanga, as he was the only student of Suzuki Roshi to receive transmission directly (a number of others were given transmission by Hoitsu Suzuku after his death).
The process of dharma transmission is an esoteric and a rarely bestowed gift which gives the receiver permission to teach and, in the case of a priest, to then ordain new members of the tradition. We have modified the form somewhat from the Japanese tradition at SFZC, only offering the rite to those with decades of experience in the community and a long track record of upholding the dharma, but nobody is perfect and there have been a number of scandals similar to the current one brewing with Sasaki Roshi.
The catch is that Sasaki Roshi is, at this writing, 106 years old. Withouth an appointed successor the lineage that he brought from Japan will not be transmitted through him. Given the current scandal and his reportedly failing health, transmission seems unlikely. Leaving the entire Rinzai-in Sanga with a critical and poignant koan to solve:
What is the sound of one teacher passing into Nirvana?
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Buddhist torrents is a web site which hosts links to many dharma texts online for free, check it out at: http://buddhisttorrents.blogspot.com/
My first though, looking at the site, was more or less: holy 2nd precept Sariputra! isn't downloading off the internet taking whats not given?
The Dharma Wants to be Free
But there's also the 3rd precept, which—a little surprisingly—applies in this case as well: no intoxication of self or other. We have a pretty good idea what this means in terms of drugs and alcohol: a good Buddhist is neither a drug dealer or liquor store owner and is moderate in their consumption so as not to carelessly violate other precepts due to lapsed judgement. But how does the dharma come into it? Some scholars think of the the dharma as a form of intoxicant, that it should be given freely and never sold, and that over zealous application of the sutras is a form of intoxication, this is part of buddhisim's internal defense against fundamentalism but how does it relate to modern copyright law?
A Test Case
I downloaded a pdf of Shobogenzo, Dogen's Spiritual Masterpiece, here's the copyright notice in the front matter:
First Edition—2007 © 2007 Shasta AbbeySo there's one with a license to redistribute, but many other works don't carry such 'copyleft' licenses, and many of the links have already been removed due to DMCA takedown request. Not every rights holder is willing to let their work be freely copied, most of these are large publishing houses who are accustomed to monitoring the Internet for leaked copies of their work as part of the cost of doing business in our information economy.
This work is offered for free distribution only.
You may print and distribute copies of this work
as long as no changes are made to the original.
Otherwise, all rights reserved.
Sutra copying is a Buddhist practice and a special way of doing Japanese calligraphy. It is the art of copying a Buddhist sutra with awareness and it brings together the ideals of genuine shodo [japanese caligraphy]. Shakyo harmonizes body and mind and through their integration creativity flows freely.
- Sutra Copying by Nadja Van Ghelue
I have personally spent some time copying my favorite translation of the Dhammapada from print into a text file for online reading, and the experiance of closely reading each passage and double checking to assure accuracy is completely different than just kicking back and soaking up some Dharma. However, the translation is still protected by copyright so I can't legally distribute my copy.
The Bottom Line
While access to the Dharma is important support of Sanga is equally critical to maintaining a healthy community of teachers. To that end I purchase as much as I can, but it seems excusable to me to take copies if the cost is prohibitive or the source material is rare, especially if one has renounced and has limited funds. Which is a bit of an odd position to take: violating copyright protection to access the dharma is probably OK for monks and those less fortunate. However, it seems clear that if you have the means, supporting the teachers is part of your duty as a member of the sangha.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Tassajara was the first of the practice centers to be established, in 1966, is the first Soto Zen monastery outside of Asia. It's history goes back to pre-Colombian use by the Essilan Indians who referred to it as a "place where meat is hung out to dry," which suggests that in one sense, things haven't changed there in hundreds of years.The Road
Saturday, May 26, 2012
That last entry was a complete throwaway, it occurred to me to write out a sesshin blurb in that format, so I did, but my heart wasn't in it. The problem is I'm not sure how to write about what actually happened, or if I should, or if I want to share it with everyone. I'm not trying to be coy (well maybe a little) it's just a hard experience to sort out, the crucible of sesshin can have a dramatic effect on people, even experienced sitters.
The Language Thing
One of the hardest and most compelling parts of sesshin for me is the restrictions on reading and writing. Speech I don't have a problem with, but not being able to read and write was initially terrifying. I work in a world of words and conceptual constructions, formal and informal grammars, ontological structures, inheritance hierarchies, complex networks, directed graphs of nodes. For fun I mostly read, voraciously, online and off. It's not a recognized condition but it's probably fair to say I'm on the hyperlexic side of the curve.
Over the course of the last year or so as I've sat through more than twenty full days of meditation the experience has been varied, but as each new experience has come up I've learned to recognize it and label it and let go. In the classic texts there are 10,000 things that come up durning meditation and the practice is to meet those things, recognize them for what they are and let go of them. Just sit there and process what comes up, be still and simply endure your own inner chaos and learn what it is that drives you to distraction.
It's a slow process, picking apart the sensations, perceptions and conscious formations that arise in our minds and figuring out how not to become attached to them. Thus we relieve all suffering one moment at a time, sitting there on the cushion, soaking it in for a little while. Each new sit has brought me a new piece of knowledge about myself, a way to stop for a moment and recognize particular formation for what it is: delusion. So when I realized that I spend most of my time in mediation, and in life, thinking about what to say, well, it might not sound like much but it made a big difference.
I haven't started in on the original writings of Dogen just yet, but there is one phrase that has stuck in my mind since I first heard it: "the mind moves from the present to the past". That is, even though we understand time to be a linear phenomenon, with the clock ticking inexorably forward away from the past and into the future, our experience of it is distinctly non-linear. We visit the past every time we remember a pleasant memory or a regret or a loss, and we travel into the future every time we compose, practice and rehearse what we are going to say or write to someone.
Sitting there, one day it came to me, I'm almost always in the past or the future. Either swimming in an ocean of regret and loss or hanging from a cliff of anxiety, fearful of falling into the uncertain future, grasping at the vines. So I had my moment, my sudden realization that I'd been sitting here out of time most of my life. Living in my own forest of delusion about what may have happened and what might happen. That's when it finally got quiet, the monkey sat down in my lap, right there in my cupped hands, curled up a went to sleep.
Nothing to Say
It's what happened next that I'm not sure what to say about, or if there is anything to say about it. Because what it is required the suspension of language, and how can you describe an experience that is inherently outside of the bounds of language? This is the fundamental koan of Zen, how do you show what cannot be described in words? Many have tried, but the answers tend to frustrate beginners:
"How do you think of not thinking? Think of non-thinking."
"The way that can be told is not the true way."
"The path is the goal."
There are moments that I could describe, but they're just memories, just the worlds I use to remind myself about a past that has already dissolved into emptiness. And there are things I might want to say about the future which doesn't exist outside of my own prognostication. The past and future are products of the persistent delusion we all carry around with us, that we are separate from the rest of the universe, that what we think and experience in day to day life is reality. The truth is far more profound than words can describe and it's highly resistant to being recorded or explained, you have to go looking for it yourself, and you can't stop looking until you find it.
Going back to the beginning of this blog, a little more than a year ago, I laid out my goals for practice:
"What I hope to learn [is] how to be in the moment with myself and the world. How to let go of my delusions and see clearly, how to step away from my habits and into a spontaneous life."
Even at the time I knew that these gaining ideas weren't quite in line with the teachings, but sometimes you have to go with the best you have. Having a specific goal in practice misses the point of exploring yourself and looking for the present moment. Believing for a second that anything has or can be accomplished in seating meditation is a trap, we don't improve by sitting, we create space in the rest of our lives so that we can improve ourself. It's a subtle distinction but critical to keeping close to the way, which is what is required to actualize the enlightenment that can be touched in Zazen.
Practice, therefore, is just that: practice. The real work of becoming a Buddha—something I never intended to pursue—happens outside of the Zendo, away from the cushion. Practice prepares the ground of awakening, but the seed is already beneath the soil, richly fertilized with our karma and delusions, ready to come up through the ground and grow if we can just let the light in and make room in the garden of our minds.
"Dirt farming and cloud farming, it's all the same."